In the Field of Dreams

So this photo was taken in Edinburgh's St. Andrew's Square last night after a wonderful dinner with friends.  My husband promptly named it the Field of Dreams, and spent the rest of the night being very pleased with himself over this description.  Haha.

So I've not posted in a very long time.  There are several reasons for this which I have been wanting to share with you but have been finding it difficult to put into words.  January was...hellish.  After an exhausting pattern of working like a beast with no days off for weeks on end to cover yet another of my boss' holidays I developed Viral Bronchitis.  It literally changed my life.  

The day that I came home after a horrendous shift, physically and mentally exhausted, depressed over my situation where I barely get time to spend with my husband let alone family and friends, well that was such a terrible day.  The night before my neighbours had come banging on the door at 5am to accuse us of making noise which had been keeping them awake since 2am.  We had gone to bed before midnight and their utter madness completely disrupted my precious little sleep before work.  

So I was seething at them all day, worried about coming home in case they were waiting to whine about another made up accusation, which I was clearly not in the mood for.  I felt so ill and really couldn't face going to work the following day.  Then I got home to discover that the niece we'd been expecting to arrive any day had died in the womb.  She wasn't actually born until the following day.  It was absolutely heartbreaking for all the family.  We have since had a funeral near the end of January.

So to sum up, I couldn't take any more.  The following day I was too ill to work and was diagnosed later in the week with bronchitis.  I had 3 weeks off work in total and really didn't feel up to much of anything at all.  But it gave me a long time to think.  

I am so sick of being miserable because of this job and the daft hours because my boss basically wants a permanent holiday.  I am sick of spending my days off crying and worrying about having to go back there.  During my illness my boss phoned to tell me he was stealing my week's holiday I had booked for my birthday to visit his mum in France for 2 weeks to help her move.  I had told him so many times about that holiday and this really was the last straw...(I later found out from my colleague that my boss actually sat on the work computer and booked himself a holiday to Turkey instead for those dates!) So I the day I started back after my illness, I handed in my notice immediately. 

I have never felt such a relief and really feel free in the knowledge I will now be able to get that day off to make a friend's wedding, that I won't have to work rediculously doing a job I hate for minimum wage.  I don't leave until March 16th but we have already hired someone in my place so I can train her since its a very skilled role. 

I am going to start my own Lingerie Brand finally after almost 15 years of dreaming about it.  Perhaps I will pick up a part time job if money gets too tight but honestly I need some time for me and my mental health!  I probably won't be posting much until April because I am starting my self employment with a 2 week holiday to Malta!  But I will keep you posted on my garden antics as much as possible, and come April, I will actually have time for it again.  Hopefully that means when summer rocks around I will be able to give my plants that hourly watering they need instead of trying to fit it in around work!

For anyone interested in my Lingerie Brand I will be posting a link to the website once I am up and running with that.

Hope you have all had a better 2014 than me, I have all my favourite blogs to catch up on since the start of January!  It's been pretty much constant rain here so I only got out last night to get some garden work done for the first time this year really.